Mid-20's Crisis

Heard of mid-life crisis, but what is this mid-20's crisis, a term I happily coined jostling for some arm space in a jam packed train heading back home after another day of work? Well, it's something am sure everyone has experienced on this side of the twenties (the dreaded side of the 20's!). (Just learned that mid-20's crisis is a widely discussed topic on the web! So yeah, I wasn't the first one to use this term)

So what's all this fuss about? You know it when someone of the opposite sex (someone older than you) gets offended when you address them as "Aunty" or "Uncle" as the case may be. Let me give an example to illustrate my point here. The other day I was at a South-Indian restaurant along with my friends. We were seated right next to the cash counter and taking advantage of our proximity to the counter, we were directly ordering to the lady at the counter. Now I wanted to order a coffee and have to draw her attention to our table. I cannot call out "waiter", for that would definitely offend her; can't call her "manager" either for it sounds too snobbish, so I settled for the tried and tested "Aunty" which seemed to have offended her more than a "waiter" would have. My good friend immediately resorted to damage control, addressed her as "Akka" and placed the order. Now here's the problem: the rule in my "code of conduct" has always been:

If(age of person>my age)
{ if (married)
{ if (same sex)
Call("uncle);
Else
Call("Aunty");
}
Else
{ if (same sex)
Call ("Anna" or "Dada");
Else
Call ("akka" or "tai" or " didi");
}

Else
Call("First Name");

The "Uncle"s in general are more relaxed about being referred to as uncle but the Aunties can frown with a stare so furious that you would be searching for the nearest fire escape route!

This is not the first time I have got myself into this uncomfortable situation. But in the past occasions I always found solace in the fact that I was just showing respect towards the "Aunty" but now am starting to think it's time to rewrite my "code of conduct" to:

If(age of person>=2*my age)
{ If(same sex)
Call("uncle");
Else
Call("Aunty");
}
Else
Call("first name");

Do you have a better code of conduct? If yes, please do share with me. :)